DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?

All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?

It took five minutes for the TV warm up?



Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?

Nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance?

You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had
their hair done every day and wore high heels?

You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time?
And you didn't pay for air?  And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . ..and they did?

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When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise,

peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?

No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends
and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a ."
and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?

Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?

And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace,nd share it with the children of today?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing
compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
Basically we were in fear for our lives,
but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
t
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! 
But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
t
Send this on to someone who can still remember
Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy,
Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.

As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool,
and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.

Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"?

I am sharing this with you today  because it ended with a double dog dare to pass it on.
To remember what a double dog dare is, read on.
And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember?

Candy cigarettes
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles

Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

Newsreels before the movie
P.F. Fliers


Telephone numbers with a word prefix....(Raymond 4-601).
Party lines


Peashooters
Howdy Dowdy
45 RPM records
Green Stamps
Hi-Fi's

Metal ice cubes trays with levers
Mimeograph paper
Beanie and Cecil
Roller-skate keys
Cork pop guns
Drive ins
Studebakers


Washtub wringers
The Fuller Brush Man
Reel-To-Reel tape recorders
Tinkertoys
Erector Sets
The Fort Apache Play Set
Lincoln Logs
15 cent McDonald hamburgers
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5 cent packs of baseball cards -
with that awful pink slab of bubble gum

Penny candy
t
35 cent a gallon gasoline
Jiffy Pop popcorn

Do you remember a time when...
t
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
A foot of snow was a dream come true?
t
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
t
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!
t
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from

their "grown-up" life . . .I double-dog-dare-ya!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BE  CAREFUL  WHAT YOU WISH FOR  !!

Man was sick and tired of going to work every day
while his wife
stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went
through so he prayed;
"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours
while my wife merely
 stays at home. I want her to know what I go
through, so please create a
 trade in our bodies.
 God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's
wish.
 The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a
woman.
 He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened
the kids, set out
 their
 school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their
lunches, drove them to
 school, came home; and picked up the dry cleaning,
took it to the
 cleaners
 and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay
the power bill and
 telephone bill, drove to the power company and the
phone company and
 paid
 the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and
put away the groceries.
 He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the
dog.
 Then it was already 1:00 p.m. and he hurried to
make the beds, do the
 laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the
kitchen floor.
 He ran to the school to pick up the kids and got
into an argument with
 them
 on the way home.
 He set out cookies and milk and got the kids
organized to do their
 homework,
 then set up the ironing board and watched TV while
he did the ironing.
 At
 4:30 PM he began peeling potatoes and washed
greens for salads, breaded
 the
 chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
 After supper,he cleaned the kitchen, ran the
dishwasher, folded laundry,

 bathed the kids,and put them to bed.
 At 9:00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores
weren't finished, he
 went
 to bed where he was expected to make love, which
he managed to get
 through
 without complaint.
 The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by
the bed and said,"
 Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so
wrong to envy my wife's

 being able to stay home all day. Please, O please,
let us trade
 back".The
 Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I
feel you have learned
 your
 lesson and I will be happy to change things back
to the way they were
 You'll
 have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant
last night"!!!

##################################

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"

"Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.

"Yes."

"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

"They were smoking marijuana?"

"Yes."

"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking before they wrecked."

"Yes."

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving" motioned the monkey.
#####################################

We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected 
  terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six have been 
  apprehended: Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin 
  Drinkin have been taken into custody.
  Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the 
   description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office.
Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy  to  spot. 
   You are obviously not a suspect at this time.

####################################

THE  BLISS  OF  BEING  OVER  40  !!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
>
> 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
>
> 3. No one expects you to run - anywhere.
>
> 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
>
> 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
>
> 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
>
> 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
>
> 8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
>
> 9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
>
> 10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
>
> 11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>
> 12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
>
> 13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
> 14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the  room.
>
> 15. You sing along with elevator music.
>
> 16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
>
> 17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
>
> 18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national  weather  service.
>
> 19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember  them  either.
>
> 20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
>
> 21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
>
>
> Chapter 2: SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE>
>
> 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
>
> 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
>
> 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
>
> 4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
>
> 5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
>
>Chapter 3: SIGNS OF WEAR
>
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!">
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment You on your new alligator shoe and you're barefoot.
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
>
> "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DON'T   SAY "Shame on you "  !!

I passed by the nursing home & there were six
old ladies lying naked in front grass. I thought this was a little
peculiar, but continued on my way because it's a long walk & I wanted to
get it over with before it got truly hot again today.

On my way back, the ladies were still lying in the yard & to quench my
curiosity, I went inside & asked to speak to
the director of the facility. When I asked him if he knew
there were 6 naked old ladies lying on his front lawn, he replied, "Yes,
I know.

They're retired prostitutes & they're having a yard sale!"
##############################