March 19, 2003 - War in Iraq Pg. 2

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This is SO true!

>Weapons Inspectors
>
>Ring of truth.... ??
>
>Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have
>arrived
>in Iraq? They're all men!
>
>How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find
>Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes
>to
>finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty
>clothes
>hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the
>cupboard
>and splatters on the floor....
>
>And these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden
>weapons of mass destruction?
>
>I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers
>sniff out
>secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can
>find
>gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters.
>They
>can sniff out a diary, two rooms and one floor away.
>
>They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and
>notice
>when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A
>mother
>smells alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front
>door and
>cigarette smoke from a block away.
>
>By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than
>Sherlock
>Holmes would. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can
>read
>an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.
>
>So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection
>team, why
>are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely only on electronic
>equipment to scout out hidden threats?
>
>My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab
>Saddam
>by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have
>any
>weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to
>her.
>
>She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his
>nose
>into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this,
>mister?"
>
>Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his
>bare
>bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the
>whole of
>Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it,
>he'd
>cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.
>
>Inspectors my ass...You want the job done?
>
>CALL MY MOTHER!

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> Subject: Tony Parsons - London Daily Mirror
>
> No matter what your views on President Bush's statement of upcoming
> war, this, from an English journalist, is very interesting.
>
> Just a word of background, for those of you who aren't familiar with
> the UK's Daily Mirror. This is a notoriously left-wing daily that is
> normally not supportive of the Colonials across the Atlantic.
>
> SHAME ON YOU AMERICAN HATING LIBERALS
>
> Tony Parsons Daily Mirror September 11, 2002
>
> ONE year ago, the world witnessed a unique kind of broadcasting -- the
> mass murder of thousands, live on television. As a lesson in the
> pitiless cruelty of the human race, September 11 was up there with Pol
> Pot's Mountain of skulls in Cambodia, or the skeletal bodies stacked
> like garbage in the Nazi concentration camps. An unspeakable act so
> cruel, so calculated and so utterly merciless that surely the world
> could agree on one thing - nobody deserves this fate. Surely there could
> be consensus:
> the victims were truly innocent, the perpetrators truly evil. But to
> the world's eternal shame, 9/11 is increasingly seen as America's
> comeuppance. Incredibly, anti-Americanism has increased over the last
> year. There has always been a simmering resentment to the USA in this
> country - too loud, too rich, too full of themselves and so much happier
> than Europeans - but it has become an epidemic. And it seems incredible
> to me. More than that, it turns my stomach.
>
> America is this country's greatest friend and our staunchest ally. We
> are bonded to the US by culture, language and blood. A little over half
> a century ago, around half a million Americans died for our freedoms, as
> well as their own. Have we forgotten so soon? And exactly a year ago,
> thousands of ordinary men, women and children - not just Americans, but
> from dozens of countries - were butchered by a small group of religious
> fanatics. Are we so quick to betray them?
>
> What touched the heart about those who died in the twin towers and on
> the planes was that we recognized them. Young fathers and mothers,
> somebody's son and somebody's daughter, husbands and wives, and
> children, some unborn.
>
> And these people brought it on themselves? And their nation is to blame
> for their meticulously planned slaughter?
>
> These days you don't have to be some dust-encrusted nut job in Kabul or
> Karachi or Finsbury Park to see America as the Great Satan. The
> anti-American alliance is made up of self-loathing liberals who blame
> the Americans for every ill in the Third World, and conservatives
> suffering from power-envy, bitter that the world's only superpower can
> do what it
> likes without having to ask permission.
>
> The truth is that America has behaved with enormous restraint since
> September 11.
>
> Remember, remember.
>
> Remember the gut-wrenching tapes of weeping men phoning their wives to
> say, "I love you," before they were burned alive.
>
> Remember those people leaping to their deaths from the top of burning
> skyscrapers.
>
> Remember the hundreds of firemen buried alive. Remember the smiling face
> of that beautiful little girl who was on one of the planes with her mum.
>
> Remember, remember - and realize that America has never retaliated for
> 9/11 in anything like the way it could have.
>
> So a few al-Qaeda tourists got locked without a trial in Camp X-ray?
>
> Pass the Kleenex...
>
> So some Afghan wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired
> their semiautomatics in a sky full of American planes? A shame, but
> maybe next time they should stic k to confetti.
>
> AMERICA could have turned a large chunk of the world into a parking lot.
> That it didn't is a sign of strength. American voices are already being
> raised against attacking Iraq - that's what a democracy is for. How many
> in the Islamic world will have a minute's silence for the slaughtered
> innocents of 9/11? How many Islamic leaders will have the guts to say
> that the mass murder of 9/11 was an abomination?
>
> When the news of 9/11 broke on the West Bank, those freedom-loving
> Palestinians were dancing in the street. America watched all of that -
> and didn't push the button. We should thank the stars that America is
> the most powerful nation in the world. I still find it incredible that
> 9/11 did not provoke all-out war. Not a "war on terrorism." A real war.
>
> The fundamentalist dudes are talking about "opening the gates of hell,"
> if America attacks Iraq. Well, America could have opened the gates of
> hell like you wouldn't believe.
>
> The US is the most militarily powerful nation that ever strode the face
> of the earth. The campaign in Afghanistan may have been less than
> perfect and the planned war on Iraq may be misconceived.
>
> But don't blame America for not bringing peace and light to these
> wretched countries. How many democracies are there in the Middle East,
> or in the Muslim world? You can count them on the fingers of one hand -
> assuming you haven't had any chopped off for minor shoplifting.
>
> I love America, yet America is hated. I guess that makes me Bush's
> poodle. But I would rather be a dog in New York City than a Prince in
> Riyadh. Above all, America is hated because it is what every country
> wants to
> be - rich, free, strong, open, optimistic. Not ground down by the past,
> or religion, or some caste system. America is the best friend this
> country ever had and we should start remembering that.
>
> Or do you really think the USA is the root of all evil? Tell it to the
> loved ones of the men and women who leaped to their death from the
> burning towers. Tell it to the nursing mothers whose husbands died on
> one of the hijacked planes, or were ripped apart in a collapsing
> skyscraper. And tell it to the hundreds of young widows whose husbands
> worked for the New York Fire Department.
>
> To our shame, George Bush gets a worse press than Saddam Hussein. Once
> we were told that Saddam gassed the Kurds, tortured his own people and
> set up rape-camps in Kuwait. Now we are told he likes Quality Street.
> Save me
> the orange center, oh mighty one!
>
> Remember, remember, September 11.
>
> One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed against
> America.
>
> No, do more than remember. Never forget!
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