The Box
I received this from a friend who had a choice to make. It said
that I had
a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to
choose.
The story goes that some
time ago a mother punished her 5 year old
daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money
was
tight and she became even more upset when the child pasted the gold
paper so as to decorate a box
to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless,
the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning
and
said, "This is for you, Momma." The mother was embarrassed by her
earlier
over
reaction, but
her anger flared again when she found the box was empty.
She
spoke to her in
a harsh manner, "Don't you know, young
lady, when you give someone a
present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"
The little
girl looked up at her with tears in her eyes and said,
"Oh,
Momma, it's not empty. I blew kisses into
it until it was full." The
mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around
her
little girl, and she begged her to forgive her for her unnecessary
anger.
An accident took the life
of the child only a short time later and
it is
told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for
all the years
of
her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems
she
would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the
love
of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a
Golden box filled with unconditional
love and kisses from our
children,
family, and friends. There is no more precious possession anyone
could
hold.
You now have two choices ... you can:
1. Pass this on to your friends,
or
2. Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can
see,
I took choice
No. 1.
Friends are like angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings
have trouble
remembering how to fly.
*****
Happy New Year!
The Meaning of Life
On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll
give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.. I'll
give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten,
so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy.
I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, the forty the cow gave
back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years
we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;
and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
Life has now been explained.
********
Calling in sick(men will relate)
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
illness, I always sense
my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a
valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would
feel up to coming in the
next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to
explain the bandage on my crown.
The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt
a cute little kitty. Initially, the
new acquisition was no problem, but one
morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast, when I heard my wife,
Deb,
call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed! The garbage disposal is dead. Come
reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower, "Reset it
yourself!"
"I am scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
(Pause)
"C'mon, it'll only take a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck-naked,
hoping to make a statement about
how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence.
I crouched
down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button.
It is the last action I
remember performing.
It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances.
Nay, it
wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.
It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied
between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under
the sink.
At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys
unwittingly offered and snagged
them with her needle-like claws.
I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily
movements, while rising
upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging
from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the
impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to
conduct their work while suppressing
hysterical laughter.
At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of
me. I kept
silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
"What's the
matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known.
*********
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A letter from God to women
If you ever look at yourself & feel that you don't measure up, read this & your outlook will change before you finish reading it! This
is good to keep, not just to read from time to time, but to also keep
stored
in your heart! Enjoy, & remember who you are!!!
When I created
the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.
When I created man, I formed
him and breathed life into his
nostrils.
But
you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into
man because
your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep
to come over him so
I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so that he
could not interfere with the
creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you.
I chose the bone that
protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart
a! nd
lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.
Around this one bone, I shaped you....... I modeled you. I created
you
perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib,
strong yet delicate
and fragile. You provide protection for the most
delicate organ in man, his
heart. His heart is the center of his being;
his
lungs hold the breath of life.
The rib cage will allow itself to be
broken before it will allow
damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage
supports the body.
You were
not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you
taken from his head,
to be above him. You were taken from his side, to
stand beside him and
be held close to his side.
You are my perfect angel.....
You are my beautiful little girl.
You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill
when I see the virtues in your heart.
Your eyes......don't
change them.
Your lips-how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose, so perfect in form.
Your hands
so gentle to touch.
I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep.
I've held your heart close to mine.
Of all that lives
and breathes, you are most like me.
Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He
could not
see me or touch me. He could only feel me.
So everything I wanted Adam
to share and experience with me, I
fashioned in you; my holiness, my strength,
my purity, my love, my
protection and support.
You are special because you are an extension of me.
Man represents
my image, woman my emotions.
Together,
you represent the totality of God.
So man......treat women well. Love her,
for she is
fragile. Respect her, for she is strong. Remember her, for she is
Me.
Send this to all of the wonderful women you know - to bless their
day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 =
employees and has the following statistics:
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been
accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2
businesses
3
have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested
on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this
is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The
same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year =
designed to keep the rest of us in line
############################
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